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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Mostly In Sickness

by The Gift

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  • Streaming + Download

    The Gift was a band from Washington, DC. See also: facebook.com/thegiftdc, for virtual friendship & light blogging.

    To order a record, please visit www.dischord.com/release/ayl011/mostly-in-sickness.

    For tapes and t-shirts, get in touch: thegiftdc at gmail dot com.
    Purchasable with gift card

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1.
living in a museum to preserve a permanent inhibit. guardian + curator: a legacy of damages deserving nothing. so i supposed, if i could only make myself more scarce. you're aligned with lack, how about that. marked jilted + duped: a reflection of you. mute.
2.
spring is the season of death. eat my heart so i won't be reborn again. i want her back. annihilate myself so she can sleep inside my shell. blown out, rest up, i will never be alone again. sometimes i want her back. i would eviscerate myself so she could sleep inside my shell. i will immortalize your nervous smirk. it slumbers in my armored heart. alas i cannot speak to her: we must suffer apart. blown up, chest out, you will never be alone again. i will be inside that pretty head. you will never be alone again and i will never be your friend.
3.
i am staging a secret sexual protest in your bed while you rest. each morning i dress you and put on your shirt like a reverse birth: hands-and-arms-and-head first. i'd make an excellent mother or an organ donor. some magic has been forgotten, the forests flatten, the only magic that seems real is the magic of confinement. you'd make an excellent father or a serial killer. 3 angels to receive my pain. they up and flew away.
4.
No Nothing 05:34
no love no sleep no death no money no hope no guarantees no regrets no dreams no trust no speech no home no body. someday i hope to be washed clean of history. i've never seen anything die with dignity or rest in peace, but someday i hope to be washed clean of history.
5.
Suffer Baby 04:38
feed yourself to god. fast till you're gone. silence is holy devotion to your own exsanguination. feed yourself to god. everyone knows i am an idiot. dumb servant to a sick silence. everyone knows i am an idiot. a vessel for your fluids & bile. everyone knows i am an idiot. love is humiliation, love is punishment. no statues for him, no need--my god he never speaks. you would never believe the sick things that i did to get him to sleep. everyone knows i am an idiot. love is humiliation, love is punishment.
6.
Play to Lose 02:02
walked off into the prairie talking to nobody & i don't wanna scream. talking to flies, playin "fuckin up" every night, & i don't wanna scream. praying to flies half-naked with your beads, & i don't wanna scream. walked off into the prairie, i don't wanna share my handwriting & i don't wanna scream. living proof of the lie that solitude purifies & i don't wanna scream. living proof of the lie sobriety purifies because i'm filthy. walked off into the prairie. i am losing gravity & i don't wanna scream.
7.
i return to you and faithless plans. a sinking mass of lies and lapse dying to be true. i'll do anything to keep hallucinating. take poison willfully, sleep on the freeway. it's so appealing: love it to death and make it look like an accident. i was part of this huge romantic gesture. now i'm just doing whatever. crisis to crisis and dust to dust. nothing's coming to save us.
8.
Quitter 05:47
i looked around at all your friends & thought "i never have to see you assholes again." then i walked home through the gloom with broken glass & plans to prove, to put me in the quiet room again with the same old poisons. a living memorial to past summers when love means to trap one another in a web of broken veins & shattered bones. i'd rather be dead than be alone. i'd rather be with you than be at home.

about

Amor y Lucha 011

credits

released January 6, 2011

The Gift was Mikey T, Henryhank Mesias, & Beck Levy.

Recorded in Baltimore, MD by Nick Skrobisz. Digital download mastered by Kris Hilbert (solosoundstudio.com).

Vinyl available from Amor y Lucha (amorylucha.org). Vinyl mastered by John Golden.

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The Gift Washington, D.C.

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